


We can get back up again

by Fatemeh



Category: Deception (TV 2018)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 13:30:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20639963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fatemeh/pseuds/Fatemeh
Summary: Jonathan finally got his hands on the security footage. He could exonerate himself, he could make everything right again. He had to go back home and tell everyone....... But Cameron was still in prison. Jonathan was confused. Cameron could have easily gotten himself out, why hadn't he? Jonathan had to find out.post the series finale





	1. Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone.  
I'm still upset that Deception was cancelled. This story offers an explanation of what could happen after the series ended. It's entirely from Jonathan's point of view.  
Enjoy.

Jonathan sat behind the table in the visitation room, waiting for his brother. This was a familiar sensation, yet very different. This time, he was there as the visitor, not the prisoner. It had been 3 weeks since he went off with MW, who had told him her name, but he didn't care; she was always going to be MW to him, the woman that framed him for murder.  
2 days ago, he finally got his hands on the security footage. He was so excited and wanted to tell his brother and the team right away that he rushed back to the city…. Where he found out that Cameron was still in prison—as him. Jonathan was confused. When he knocked his brother out, in this very room, he was so sure that Cameron would get himself out by the next day…..but he hadn't, why?  
Jonathan was so deep in thought that he was startled when the guard closed the door behind Cameron. Cameron didn't walk to the table; he just stood where he was and glared at Jonathan.  
Jonathan watched the man in front of him. The man stared at him without a trace of smile, with slightly lowered eyebrows. This wasn't his brother…. His brother was a cheery, positive man who could brighten up the world with his smile; Cameron always had this energy around him, like an aura; whoever walked in it would feel positive instantly. Jonathan knew this sounded stupid, but he could always count on his brother to cheer him up. Whatever that energy was, it was gone. Its effects were so powerful, that if it weren't for the resemblance, Jonathan couldn't recognize his brother.  
\- "What do you want Jonathan?", asked Cameron blankly.  
Jonathan? He couldn't remember the last time Cameron called him Jonathan. He must be really angry. Suddenly, a wave of guilt came over him. He was so excited about having found the footage that he had forgotten to consider how Cameron would be feeling. I betrayed him after all.  
\- "What do you want?" Cameron repeated as he sat down.  
-"Cam…… I've found the security footage. And I left the FBI an anonymous tip about where MW was. They got her, it's over."  
\- "Good for you."  
Still no emotions. What was wrong with him?  
\- "Cameron, this is good news; we're free of her."  
\- "Yeah I got that."  
Jonathan was beginning to get angry, it was like he was talking to a robot.  
\- "Why are you still in prison?"  
\- "Did you mean to leave me somewhere else?"  
Jonathan was shocked. Cameron was usually more straightforward, this was so unlike him, he was obviously angry, but his expression showed absolutely nothing.  
\- "Come on Cam. I'm really sorry about what I did to you. Ultimately, I was trying to protect you. I will explain and apologize later… right now, just tell me why you're not outta here?"  
\- "I didn't need you to protect me."  
Jonathan didn't know how to respond to that, so he voiced what was bothering him: "I thought you would call your FBI friends and tell them who you are, why haven't you?"  
Cameron ignored that question: "Has anybody seen you since you came back?"  
Jonathan tried to calm himself: "No, I came straight here."  
\- "How nice of you. So here's what we're going to do: You're gonna go back to the archive and take what we need to switch back. You're not gonna let anybody see you because they may find out who you are. We're switching back tomorrow morning. Then I'll give Kay the footage and get you out properly."  
Jonathan was still so shaken over the fact that his brother looked so emotionless that it took him a second to respond: "Why can't others know who I am?"  
Cameron gave him a knowing glare, as if it was the simplest thing: "The team and the FBI must not find out about the switch."  
\- "But why?"  
Cameron looked annoyed: "Were you under the impression that knocking your brother out and leaving him in prison in your lieu was legal?"  
Again a rush of guilt. But the confusion was stronger; he asked: "What about the team?"  
Cameron sighed: "Look man, I'm not trying to flatter myself but they won't be pleased with what you did. Let's not tear the group apart."  
Jonathan was at odds. He really wanted to exonerate himself; then again, he needed to get his brother out as soon as possible.  
\- "Why are we overcomplicating everything Cam? When I give Kay the evidence, I can tell her about you, and she'll get you out."  
\- "Oh"  
Oh. That was such a simple word; no it wasn't even a word. But somehow it sent a chill down Jonathan's spine. For the first time in their lives, Jonathan couldn't read Cameron's feelings.  
\- "What do you mean by that?"  
Cameron didn't respond.  
\- "What is it Cam?"  
\- "Nothing."  
Nothing. A perfect word to describe how much Jonathan understood about this situation, about his brother right then.  
\- "It's something, I can tell."  
\- "I just forgot." As Cameron said this, his eyebrows slightly lowered. Finally, a reaction!  
\- "Forgot what?"  
Cameron's face was completely void of emotions; his eyes on the other hand….. his eyes revealed such sadness that made Jonathan uneasy. Even this look disappeared in a few seconds. Cameron regained his firm look.  
\- "I forgot that you didn't trust me."  
Jonathan was absolutely dumfounded; he couldn't register anything for several moments. By the time he opened his mouth to reassure his brother, it was too late.  
\- "Visitation time is over Black. Let's go."  
Cameron stood up and turned to the door. Jonathan was desperate, he had to do something: "Alright I'll do as you said."  
Cameron didn’t turn to face him. He just said "Tomorrow morning" as he walked out.  
……………………………………………….  
Jonathan found himself in his favorite coffee shop. He was barely aware of how he had gotten himself there because all he could think about was the visit in jail. He had expected Cameron to be mad, to yell at him and even hit him.  
Cameron had mastered masking his emotions, he had to in order to perform on stage. He couldn't show fear or uncertainty. Cameron had taken his time to acquire this skill though, which was normal because he had always been so straight forward with his feelings. Still, after all these years, he couldn't hide his feelings around Jonathan. He would sulk, yell, or comically hit him. Nevertheless, the display of anger never lasted long, Cameron would always forgive him in a matter minutes.  
What Jonathan had seen that day was not natural. Just thinking about his brother's blank expression gave him goose bumps. What was he gonna do? How could he get Cameron back to his old self?  
At least Cameron hadn't totally given up on him, he cared enough not to let Jonathan get in trouble. Cameron was right. If Jonathan told the team, they might never forgive him. This way, they'll just believe that Cameron left for a while and came back with the footage. However…………… Jonathan had left with no warning. He didn't answer the team's calls: they must have gotten worried. And the day that he left……… he said some harsh things to Kay. Jonathan was pretty sure his brother cared about this Kay…….so…. if they proceeded with the switch tomorrow, she or the team wouldn't know that it hadn't been Cameron…….. he would be blamed for things he never did.  
Jonathan made up his mind, he couldn't let his brother get caught in the crossfire.  
………………………………………  
Jonathan was in his room in the archive when he heard voices.  
\- "Kay? What are you doing here?, asked Dina.  
\- "Cameron texted me with this time and place."  
\- "He texted us too", said Jordan excitedly.  
\- "I wonder what he has been up to". Kay sounded hurt. This made Jonathan even more determined to proceed.  
\- "Are you here? Cameron?". Dina called.  
Jonathan summoned the courage, took a deep breath and walked out. He watched the sequence of expressions on his friends' faces, from relief to anger, to confusion. Even Kay could tell that something wasn't right. Dina held his gaze with suspicion, then she voiced what she and the other two men were thinking: "Not Cameron"  
Jonathan gave them a weak smile. He hated the calm before a storm.  
\- "Before you start yelling at me, let me explain."  
Kay did not comply: "Where is Cameron?"  
Now that Jonathan paid more attention to her, she seemed like something important had dawned on her.  
\- "He's in prison."  
\- "What!?"  
\- "What!?"  
\- "What have you done?"  
\- "Please let me finish. I'm not proud of what I did. 3 weeks ago, when Cameron visited me……. I…….. I……. knocked him out……. And I switched places with him."  
He received angry, disappointed and disgusted expressions. Cameron had been right; it was awful to have his friends look at him like that. In spite of that, he continued: "I went off with MW, and I finally got the security footage I needed….."  
Kay interrupted him: "So when I was here…….". She hesitated.  
Jonathan knew what she meant: "It was me. You talked to me. Cameron didn't do anything wrong. Don't be mad at him."  
As he watched their expressions, he just knew that a storm was coming.  
They yelled at him, criticized him, and asked way too many questions. Jonathan sat through it all patiently; he deserved everything they said about him.  
\- "I can't believe we were in the dark about all of this!"  
Jonathan was a little annoyed: "I still don't know why Cameron didn't tell you, but if even one of you had gone to prison to visit me, you would have found out."  
\- "We tried that Mr. sensitive". Gunter mocked him.  
Dina clarified: "We called several times. Every time you…….. he said that he didn't want to see anyone, that he wouldn't accept any visitations."  
Jonathan didn't have anything to add about that so he changed the subject: "Guys would you mind not telling anyone about this situation until I tell Cameron?...... Agent Daniels…… would you mind?"  
Kay nodded. She still seemed irritated.  
Since there weren't any protests, Jonathan dialed. It took Cameron a few minutes to come to the phone?  
\- "Yes?"  
\- "Hey Cam."  
\- "What do you need Jonathan?"  
Jonathan hated hearing his full name from his brother, he was never getting used to it.  
\- "Well…… I kind of told the team everything. You're on speakerphone now."  
Cameron sighed.  
\- "Cameron, darling…. Are you ok?", asked Dina.  
\- "Hey Dina, I'm fine. Don't worry…………JONATHAN?"  
\- "Yeah?"  
\- "Take me off speakerphone. NOW!"  
Jonathan complied, he didn't even think about doing otherwise because Cameron sounded really serious.  
\- "I thought we had a deal."  
Jonathan could almost hear the sheer amount of disappointment. He moved away from his friends so that he could have a private conversation.  
\- "I'm sorry Cam."  
\- "I'm sure you are". Wow. Since when did Cameron resort to petty sarcasm?  
\- "Hear me out man. I know you had other plans, but I couldn't let you be blamed for what I did. I ignored our friends for weeks….. and I said some harsh things to you friend Kay….. I know you value your relationship with her, so……"  
\- "Kay….. is Kay there?"  
Was Jonathan imagining things? Or did Cameron's voice slightly soften when he talked to or about other people?  
\- "Put her on."  
Jonathan handed Kay the phone. She moved out of the earshot; therefore, Jonathan settled for watching her expressions. Worry, relief, anger…. What was Cameron telling her?  
When she hung up, she handed Jonathan the phone back.  
\- "You and Cameron are switching tomorrow. We are not going to tell anyone what you did; we are just going to exonerate you."  
Everyone was puzzled at that comment. The switch wasn't the problem. Jonathan couldn't understand why Kay had agreed to stay silent, she was an FBI agent, it was her job to tell the truth. He voiced his thoughts.  
\- "Cameron asked me not to say anything.". Kay shrugged.  
\- "Obviously. I don't understand why you would agree to help me though."  
\- "Cameron convinced me."  
\- "How?"  
\- "Ask him yourself."  
Jonathan intended to do just so.  
……………………………………


	2. Cold

When he entered the visitation room the next day, Cameron was already sitting. He nodded in acknowledgement to Jonathan. Everything changed when Kay entered, Cameron stood up, his face brightened.  
\- "Good morning Kay", said Cameron sheepishly.  
\- "Morning". She was trying not to smile. However angry she was, she was still happy to see him.  
\- "Thank you for everything".  
\- "Yeah, you'll make it up to me. Big time."  
Cameron nodded in agreement. Jonathan had not been imagining things. Cameron really did warm up a bit when he was talking to other people.  
He leaned against the wall. This attracted their attention. Suddenly, it was like the temperature dropped 10 degrees.  
\- "I'll wait outside."  
Jonathan waited until Kay left, and he took a seat in front of Cameron. His brother didn't match this action.  
\- "I thought we were gonna switch."  
\- "I have questions first."  
Cameron sat down and waited for Jonathan to talk.  
\- "How did you convince Kay not to tell anyone?"  
\- "What? We don't have time….."  
\- "We have time for this", said Jonathan firmly.  
\- "It's not important."  
Jonathan was getting angry, and he wasn't going to back down.  
\- "Look Cameron. I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be. I haven't been able to understand your thought process recently, but I know for some reason you care about the secret not getting out…."  
Jonathan could swear that Cameron's expression softened for a brief second.  
\- "…. Either you answer my questions now or I'll tell the FBI, to hell with the consequences."  
\- "You are the worst".  
Cameron wasn't teasing; he was merely stating a fact. His tone was so cold that Jonathan shivered.  
Jonathan was about to give up when Cameron talked: "I asked Kay to do me this favor. I told her that telling the truth would get us all in trouble."  
\- "That can't be it. She's not my biggest fan after how I treated her and especially after I left you in prison."  
Cameron hesitated: "I told her that this was inevitable."  
\- "I don't understand."  
\- "This…. Me being in jail. That…….. I would have gladly switched places, had you just asked."  
Jonathan's mouth fell open. This was confusing the hell out of him, wasn't Cameron mad at him? Then why would he say something like that? Or if he wasn't truly mad…. Why was he being so cold?  
He forced himself to talk: "Is that the truth?"  
Cameron didn't answer, and Jonathan didn't push, he feared the answer.  
\- "Why didn't you get yourself out?"  
Cameron avoided looking in his eyes: "You made it very clear that you didn't want my help. I decided to give you a chance to help yourself."  
Jonathan could see that his brother wasn't lying, but he could also see that wasn't the whole truth. He decided against asking more questions.  
…………………………………………………….  
The next 4 days were torture. Jonathan did his prison routine, kept his head down the whole time. He might have been able to escape prison, but he couldn't escape his own thoughts. What was going on outside this hell hole? Was the process of exonerating him going well? When could he finally get back to his life? Why was time moving so slowly? Jonathan was going crazy. He called his brother a couple of times to ask for updates, but every time he only received a cold "We're working on it".  
Apart from all of this, he couldn't stop thinking about his brother. Did Cameron hate him? This seemed plausible. Cameron treated him coldly, called him by his full name, wouldn't talk to him much, and generally didn't do anything he used to do show that he cared. Jonathan had expected his brother to be mad, but this level of indifference was unprecedented.  
On the other hand, if Cameron hated him, why had he been trying to help Jonathan? The whole thing was paradoxical. Most importantly, why was Cameron so emotionless? How had a cheery, positive, sensitive guy turned into a stoic, dry person? How could he have changed so much in only 3 weeks?  
The more Jonathan thought, the less he understood.  
…………………………………………  
He knew legal procedures took time, so on the fifth day when Gunter called to tell him that he was gonna be free the next day, he was over the moon. Apparently, it paid to have friends in the FBI!  
Cameron had finally done it. Jonathan would thank his brother when he would see him the next day at the prison gate.  
However…… the next…. His brother wasn't waiting for him…… Gunter was. Jonathan was honestly hurt, he thought no matter how rocky their relationship was, his brother would be there for him on one the most important days in his life.  
\- "Thanks for coming Gunter."  
\- No worries Johnny boy."  
Jonathan was silent for the rest of the ride, he didn't feel like talking.  
The archive was dark, when he switched the light on……  
SURPRISE!  
A surprise party! He felt like he was a little kid again. However lame it seemed, it thrilled him. Wait…… of course Cameron hadn't come to the prison, he must have been arranging the surprise party.  
Jonathan's hopes were immediately crushed when Cameron greeted him coldly again.  
\- "I'm happy you can finally have your own life after all this time."  
Cameron looked anything but happy. After this, Cameron basically moved to a corner, all by himself, not engaging in any conversations. Why was his brother insistent on ruining this day for him?  
\- "Hey, why aren't you in the spotlight?! This is your party after all." Dina teased Jonathan.  
\- "Sorry, just felt like being on my own for a few minutes. Thanks for the party by the way. It's great."  
\- "Of course Johnny."  
They watched their friends having fun for a couple of minutes.  
\- "Can I ask you something Dina?"  
\- "Sure"  
\- "I thought…… I thought you guys were super mad at me….. how come you threw me a party then?"  
\- "We were….. I still am a bit…. But Cameron convinced us that it wasn't a big deal, that if he had forgiven you, we could too."  
\- "He said that?"  
Dina nodded.  
Jonathan looked for his brother in the crowd, but couldn't find him, he was gone.  
……………………………….  
Sunlight bothered him, he wanted to go back to sleep but the light was too bright……… Wait….. sunlight? He didn't get sunlight in his cell.  
Jonathan opened his eyes. He couldn't describe how happy he was to see his own room instead of the prison cell. He wanted to keep sleeping but the thought of breakfast was even more pleasing.  
\- "Morning sleepyhead", called Jordan.  
Dina, Jordan and Gunter were in the kitchen as well, having breakfast. No Cameron: Typical.  
\- "How did you sleep?", asked Dina.  
\- "Amazing. Thanks for last night again."  
Everyone smiled.  
\- "Um…. Where's Cameron?"  
\- "FBI", said Gunter.  
\- "I think he mentioned a new case", Jordan completed.  
Or he got out early to avoid me. Cameron was becoming predictable.  
Jonathan tried to distract himself by working on some magic tricks for the next few hours. He was working on a particularly tricky one when Cameron walked in.  
\- "Oh… don't mind me, I'm just here to pick something up."  
Jonathan got up: "How's your case going?"  
\- "Fine"  
Fine. God forbid Cameron giving more details.  
\- "Cam, can we talk?"  
\- "I'm actually in a hurry, so…..". Cameron said this as he headed for the door.  
Jonathan got in his way to stop him.  
\- "It'll take only a few minutes. You can't avoid me forever."  
Cameron didn't even deny avoiding him; Jonathan continued: "I know you're still upset with me, and I know that I have a ton more apologies to make, but we have to talk if we're gonna work things out."  
\- "There's nothing to talk about. And, you don't need to apologize to me Jonathan, you're completely forgiven."  
\- "It doesn't appear so to me Cam."  
\- "I don't know what to tell you. Just because we're twins doesn't mean we have to do everything together."  
Jonathan felt attacked.  
\- "I still think we should talk, you haven't been yourself……"  
\- "People can change dear brother. You changed and I didn't blame you."  
The way Cameron said dear brother……. Jonathan would have felt better if Cameron had cursed him.  
Jonathan was losing his temper: "If I'm not welcome here, maybe I should just leave."  
For a brief moment Cameron looked horrified. Jonathan wanted to take his angry comment back, but then stoic Cameron was back.  
\- "It's your life man, you're free to do with it as you please."  
With that, Cameron left.  
………………………………………………………..  
Jonathan felt like the walls were closing in on him, he had to get out, he needed fresh air. As he was aimlessly walking down the street, he got lost in thought. Threatening to leave had been his last card, and Cameron had dismissed it like it was no big deal. Did Cameron not want him around? Cameron said he had forgiven him. Had he really? It didn't add up.  
"Forgiving and forgetting are not the same thing". A voice announced in his head. Alright, maybe that solved this problem. But what about the way Cameron behaved? Something was wrong with him, Jonathan had to fix it.  
Did he though? Apart from the personality change, Cameron seemed pretty together. Maybe he didn't need Jonathan. Maybe leaving actually was the best idea. Jonathan would love to travel. He had travelled a lot when he was a kid…. Never as himself. He had to hide most of the time, which meant that he couldn't do anything fun.  
Jonathan hadn't realized how far he had walked when his phone ringing brought him back to the real world.  
\- "Hello?"  
\- "I didn't think you would actually answer."  
\- "Agent Daniels?"  
Jonathan was suspicious for a second, why would she call him? Unless it's bad news…..  
\- "Is Cameron ok? Did something happen?"  
Kay answered fast: "No no, he's fine."  
Jonathan relaxed: "What can I do for you then?  
Kay didn't beat around the bush: "Do you think something is wrong with Cameron?"  
\- "Why? What did he do?"  
\- "Nothing. I mean he's still Cameron. He does tricks, laughs, talks way too much….."  
Jonathan mentally chuckled, that's Cameron, alright.  
\- "……..But something is different, it's like…… like……"  
Jonathan knew how to complete this sentence: "Like the light inside of him has been switched off."  
\- "You've noticed it too?"  
Jonathan smiled bitterly: "Of course I have. He's a lot colder towards me than other people."  
There was a hesitation on the other end of the line: "Do you…… you think something happened to him in prison?"  
Jonathan snapped: "How should I know? He won't talk to me."  
Kay didn't respond. Jonathan regretted his tone: "I'm sorry. I'll see what I can do, where is he now?"  
……………………………………..


	3. Blame

Kay told him that Cameron had driven to the FBI headquarters, so it was only a matter of the time before he went back to the parking lot. Jonathan couldn't be patient with his brother anymore. He was getting his answers one way or another. He wasn't gonna let Cameron leave until they had a proper conversation.  
Luckily Jonathan didn't have to wait for more than 10 minutes. He watched as Cameron walked out of the elevator and towards the car. His was looking down the whole way, so he only saw Jonathan when he was right by the car. He didn't react.  
Jonathan did his best to calm himself.  
\- "Hey Cam"  
\- "What are you doing here?"  
\- "We need to talk"  
\- "We already talked"  
\- "No we haven't. I'm not letting you avoid me anymore. I am gonna talk, and you're gonna listen."  
Cameron didn't argue. Good.  
\- "Look Cam. I'm really sorry that I left you in prison. I was angry that I wasn't free, and you came in at the worst possible minute with the worst possible plan."  
Cameron scowled. Ok this wasn't going well.  
\- "I mean…. I was already considered a criminal, I didn't want you to be considered one as well. If you broke me out, you would risk your whole future, I couldn't let that happen."  
Another classic no reaction on Cameron's part.  
\- "Well?", said Jonathan in anticipation.  
\- "Well what?". Cameron blurted out.  
\- "Say something."  
\- "I don't have anything to say."  
Jonathan was trying his best not to yell: "Please Cameron. Just this one time, say what you're thinking or feeling. The world won't come to an end."  
After a short pause, Cameron decided to say: "Alright, I say……. Thank you for your honesty. Apology accepted. Now we're done."  
Jonathan lost control, he yelled: "You are really annoying, you know that? This one time that I need you to do something. I apologize and tell you that I left you in prison for your own sake, not even a word out of you…."  
Jonathan could see that Cameron was getting angry too. Good, angry Cameron was better than robot Cameron, he needed to push a little further: "It's like you don't even care….."  
Cameron started shouting: "What do you want me to say? That you broke my heart?"  
Jonathan had seen so much of the stoic Cameron lately that this burst of emotion stunned him.  
Cameron kept yelling: "Getting you free had been my main goal for over a year. You're my brother and I didn't mind if breaking you out would risk everything…."  
Jonathan tried to talk but Cameron didn't let him: "No, you wanted me to speak, you're not gonna interrupt me now. I did that for you, but you….. don't talk to me about not communicating because I poured my heart out to you that day….."  
His voice got lower: "…………..and you decided you were better off on your own……. If you had just told me what you were thinking, what your plan was….. I would have gladly switched places with you."  
Jonathan was dazed, he couldn't speak for several long moments. Most what Cameron had said was not new information, but the emotion behind it made it devastating. Jonathan forced himself to speak: "Cam….. I just wanted to ….. help you."  
Cameron's expression turned cold again: "When are you going to understand John? I don't need your help."  
Fortunately or unfortunately for Jonathan somebody interrupted them:  
\- "`Well well well, both Black brothers in one parking lot, isn't this my lucky night."  
Jonathan sighed out of disappointment. That woman again, whatever her stupid name was. Hadn't she ruined his life enough already? She must've escaped FBI custody.  
She was pointing a gun at them.  
\- "Excuse me, we're right in the middle of a conversation. Would you mind coming back later?", said Cameron sarcastically.  
MW wasn't having it: "You shut up."  
She turned to Jonathan: "Jonathan."  
Jonathan smiled: "Present"  
She snapped: "You think you can betray me so easily?"  
Jonathan could see from the corner of his eye that Cameron was texting behind his back, so he tried to keep her focused on himself: "No, it wasn't that easy, you made it so damn difficult."  
She cocked her gun. Ok maybe this wasn't the best approach. Before he could think of something else, Cameron said: "Let's solve this thing like civilized people."  
She pointed the gun at Cameron: "I thought I told you to shut up."  
Jonathan panicked. He needed to keep her focused on him or she might shoot Cameron. He waved his hand to attract her attention: "Hey, hey. I'm the one you want, over here."  
She pointed the gun back at him: "Give me the map."  
Cameron hissed: "You took the map? And didn't tell me?"  
Jonathan hissed back: "You weren't talking to me, remember?"  
MW looked back and forth between the two of them.  
Suddenly, the elevator door opened, Kay and Mike sped out with their guns ready:  
\- "Drop your gun"  
\- "Drop it now."  
This was a less than ideal situation, the FBI wasn't making it any better.  
\- "I don't think so, you drop your guns or I'm gonaa shoot him". MW gestured to Jonathan with her gun.  
Jonathan tried to remedy the situation: "Look I'll give you the map. I just don't have it on me right now, we should go……."  
She yelled: "So you can betray me again?"  
\- "No I swear…."  
\- "I don't believe you"  
Jonathan didn't know how to respond.  
\- "Maybe I'm better off taking my revenge."  
Jonathan was stunned. She was really pissed off. Apparently, it was becoming normal for Jonathan to underestimate the reaction of the people he had hurt. He knew she was gonna shoot, but he was frozen, he couldn't move.  
Right when she pulled the trigger, Jonathan was violently pushed off. He stumbled, heard the shot but didn't see or feel it. He touched his chest and arms…. Nothing. He was ok, he wasn't shot. How was that possible?  
He turned to where he had been standing. He saw…………….. he saw Cameron and it made sense. Cameron had pushed him out of the way. He was standing where Jonathan had been standing a few seconds ago; both hands on his abdomen, his blue shirt was turning red, blood making its way through his fingers……..  
\- "Cameroooooon, nooo". Jonathan yelled and ran to his brother. He caught him before he fell to the ground. Jonathan couldn't see anything except his brother who was already turning pale. He didn't even register that Kay and Mike tackled MW, took her gun and cuffed her.  
She wasn't important. Jonathan gently put Cameron on the floor and tried to make him comfortable. He took his coat off and put it on Cameron's wound, trying to stop the bleeding.  
He couldn't think about anything except that Cameron was getting paler. He had difficulty breathing. How coincidental, Jonathan was having trouble breathing too. He couldn't lose his brother, no, Cameron couldn't die, Jonathan couldn't imagine a world without his brother in it. Jonathan could see that Cameron's eyelids were getting too heavy for him.  
\- "No, Cam you have to stay awake."  
Cameron smiled weakly. He was obviously in lots of pain; and that hurt Jonathan. He felt like someone was reaching inside his chest and squeezing his heart. Jonathan heard Kay calling for an ambulance, then she rushed to the two brothers and sat down on the other side of Cameron, trying to help. But there was nothing she could do. Worse, there was nothing Jonathan could do, his brother was dying and there was nothing he could do. No no, he couldn't die.  
\- "Come on Cam. Hold on. You have to hold on……. Please……. You can't leave me."  
Jonathan felt tears on his cheeks. He tried to blink the tears back because they were blurring his vision.  
\- "Cameron…."  
Cameron looked at him, right into his eyes. His gaze was so intense that Jonathan felt a little uncomfortable. But he forced himself to keep his gaze.  
Cameron was struggling to speak: "Jo…… Johnny…."  
\- "I'm here Cam, I'm here."  
\- "I…….'m sorry."  
Jonathan shivered. What was Cameron sorry for? He had done nothing wrong. It was all Jonathan's fault. His brother was dying and it was his fault. No, he wouldn't let him die.  
\- "It's ok brother, you're ok. You're gonna be ok."  
Jonathan's fingers were already stained with blood. He pushed the coat on the wound which made Cameron wince. Jonathan kept speaking reassuring words (and fighting his own tears back), because that was all he could do.  
Jonathan's world came crashing down when Cameron closed his eyes: "No, no, no. Cam…. Cameron…. You have to wake up. Open your eyes!"  
But Cameron didn't. Jonathan shook his brother and kept yelling at him to wake up…. To no end.  
Jonathan was still screaming and crying when the ambulance arrived. The paramedics rushed to Cameron's side and pushed Jonathan away.  
\- "What is going on?"  
\- "Step away sir and let us do our job."  
Jonathan paced around impatiently. What was happening? Was Cameron alive? He noticed when the paramedics were prepping to move Cameron into the ambulance.  
\- "Please just tell me. Is my brother ok?"  
\- "He's alive, but he's in critical condition. We have to get him to the hospital."  
\- "I have to go with him."  
\- "No, that's…."  
\- "Please, he's my brother. I need to be with him." Jonathan pleaded.  
Thankfully Kay flashed her badge to convince them.  
The next few hours were a blur. All Jonathan could remember about the ambulance ride and the hospital's surgery waiting room was constant worrying, pacing around, blaming himself, punching the walls, and being comforted by Dina. He couldn't think straight.  
Jonathan thought about the last week. He couldn't believe he had been angry at his brother for being cold towards him. How stupid. Jonathan didn't care if Cameron never spoke to him again, as long as he survived. What if….. no no…. he's not going to die. Jonathan felt nauseous every time he thought about Cameron dying.  
It is your fault. Jonathan wanted to argue with that voice in his head, when he realized it was right. If he hadn't betrayed his brother, none of this would have happened. Perhaps Cameron was right, Jonathan should have been honest with his brother in the first place.  
Things started to slow when the surgeon finally came out: "Cameron Black's family?"  
Jonathan rushed to him: "I'm his brother."  
\- "Well Mr. Black. The good news is that your brother's surgery went well. We successfully removed the bullet, and thankfully none of his vital organs were critically injured."  
Jonathan relaxed a bit. He was barely aware of his team and Kay till that moment. He could see then that they relaxed as well.  
\- "However", continued the doctor: "There are a number of complications that may happen; infection being our main concern. We will have to watch him closely for a while."  
Jonathan couldn't wait anymore: "Can I see him?"  
\- "He's heavily sedated right now, he won't wake up for several more hours."  
\- "Please can I see him?"


	4. Redemption

Jonathan could barely recognize his own brother. Cameron was very pale, his hair was unusually messy, and he was hooked to several machines. This visual appalled Jonathan. He had seen his brother in the hospital many times…. But he had never gotten used it.  
He watched and listened to the machine that recorded Cameron's heart beat…. It wasn't strong, but it was there. Cameron was alive. Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief.  
He sat down in a chair besides Cameron, thankfully this room was designed for only one patient, he didn't have to deal with anyone else. Jonathan didn't care when Cameron would wake up, nobody could make him leave, he was staying at his brother's side. Fortunately, with some FBI intervention, that was arranged.  
But Dina was still worried: "Jonathan darling, you should go home, get some sleep."  
\- "I can't Dina. I have to be here. You go home. I'll call you later."  
Therefore, everyone left Cameron and Jonathan alone. It was better this way, only the two of them, the two of them against the world. Just like when they were kids. Jonathan smiled bitterly.  
After an hour he couldn't keep himself awake. He fell asleep in the uncomfortable chair. It wasn't a peaceful sleep, he had a nightmare about Cameron getting shot and then falling in a dark hole despite all of Jonathan's efforts to catch him. He screamed and called Cameron's name over and over again.  
He was awoken by a small moan. He immediately jumped up:  
\- "Cameron…. Cam are you awake?"  
Another moan. Apparently Cameron was having a nightmare too. Jonathan shook him: "Cameron, wake up. It's just a nightmare."  
Cameron slowly opened his eyes. He struggled to speak but his mouth was too dry. Jonathan helped him drink a few drops of water.  
Cameron smiled. Jonathan smiled back at him, this was the first moment he wasn't scared out his mind.  
\- "Johnny…."  
\- "Yeah, Cam, I'm here."  
\- "Are you ok?"  
Jonathan chuckled: "You're the one who's shot, and you're asking if I'm ok?"  
Cameron's expression hardened: "I was shot?"  
Jonathan panicked. What was wrong? Did Cameron have brain damage or something? What hadn't the doctor told him?  
Jonathan's jaw dropped when Cameron grinned: "You should see your face. Relax man, I'm joking."  
Cameron really had a twisted sense of humor. Jonathan hated it. Or did he? After seeing an emotionless Cameron for days, it was nice to see him back to his old self.  
\- "You dumbass. If you weren't shot already, I would punch you. "  
Cameron kept grinning: "It's not my fault you're so gullible Johnny."  
Jonathan realized that Cameron was calling him Johnny again. Was Cameron really back to his old self, or was it the drugs? Jonathan guessed the latter, which presented a chance.  
\- "Cam?"  
\- "Yeah?" Cameron was falling back asleep.  
\- "No, no. I need you to stay awake. I need to ask you something."  
Cameron opened his eyes again and made an effort to keep them open to listen to Jonathan.  
Jonathan took his chance: "Why did you stay in prison?"  
Cameron frowned. Jonathan didn't like to take advantage of his brother's drugged out daze, but he had no choice, this was the only time he would get some straight answers. He did not expect to hear that answer in a million years.  
\- "Because I deserved to be there."  
\- "what?"  
Cameron didn't respond. Jonathan had to know: "Please Cam I need to know. What did you mean by that?"  
Cameron couldn't refuse his brother when he pleaded like that so he answered: "Isn't prison where bad people go? I was a horrible brother. When dad was alive, I was the reason you stayed with him, isn't it?"  
It was part of the reason. Their father was cruel, he raised them dependent on him and on each other. Nevertheless, Jonathan had a free spirit, he had thought about running away so many times. But he couldn't leave his brother at the mercy of Sebastian Black.  
Cameron kept talking: "And after he died I made you keep the secret. That was wrong, I should have never done that to you. You were trapped because of me. I shouldn't have let dad treat you like that. I should have agreed to go with you all those times you planned to run away from him."  
Wait what? Cameron knew about his plans? How? He never told him.  
"Or maybe you didn't tell me because you didn't want me to go with you….."  
Cameron was getting emotional, that was bad. In his drugged out state, he couldn't fight the tears. Jonathan took a hold of Cameron's shoulders and tried to comfort him: "Calm down Cameron. Look at me… what happened with dad wasn't your fault…. You're ok….. I'm ok….. you have to calm down."  
Cameron calmed a bit. He stopped crying but didn't stop talking. Jonathan understood why. He had kept his feelings bottled up for too long, he had to let them out.  
\- "And then the prison happened. I promised to get you out so many times, and every time I let you down. I'm so sorry Johnny…."  
Jonathan didn't understand, something was not adding up: "I thought you were mad at me."  
Cameron looked confused: "Why would I be mad at you?"  
\- "Because…. Because I knocked you out and left you in prison."  
For some unknown reason, Cameron smiled: "No, I understand why you did that. I failed to get you out, I let you down, so you had to try on your own. You had been in prison for so long, it was my turn. Plus, this way the police wouldn't chase you for being an escaped convict. I had to give you the chance to do what I couldn't do, however long it might take."  
Jonathan had trouble forming words when his emotions attacked him like that.  
\- "But…. You … weren't so happy to see me again."  
Cameron let out a tiny chuckle: "Trust me I was over the moon. But I had gotten to thinking in prison. I knew I kept you down, I knew you felt trapped because of me and our secret, I knew you couldn't do what you wanted because you were always looking out for me. So I thought if I acted like I didn't need you, you would finally be free to have your own life."  
The room was spinning; Jonathan was hardly keeping himself standing.  
\- "What about the way you acted? That you weren't as positive as before?  
Cameron frowned again: "What are you talking about?"  
Jonathan couldn't stand anymore, he sat back in the chair. When Jonathan wasn't at Cameron's side, to force him to stay awake, he fell asleep again. He was exhausted. Of course he was, he had been shot and under surgery for hours. Cameron had told Jonathan so much…. Talking for that long could not be good for his health in that state.  
Yet again, Jonathan had found another way to hurt his brother. He took another glance at Cameron, and felt like the oxygen was being sucked out of the room. He had to get out.  
………………………….  
He walked around the hospital aimlessly. "What are you talking about?" Jonathan remembered the way Cameron had said it. Maybe most of Cameron's coldness and bitterness had been due to his decision to show Jonathan that he didn't need him, but not all of it. Cameron wasn't even aware that he had changed, that he wasn't his old innocent, joyful self anymore. Jonathan had truly broken something inside his brother.  
Jonathan arrived at a small park, he let himself fall on the grass.  
Jonathan hadn't known that Cameron blamed himself so much. It all made sense now…. It wasn't a question whether Cameron hated Jonathan or had forgiven him. The fact was that Cameron hated himself.  
Jonathan always knew that Cameron blamed himself for a lot of stuff…. It was in his nature, he cared about other people more than himself. But it was never to this extent, never so bad that it shaped his personality. It must be because of what Jonathan did.  
Jonathan punched the ground.  
Despite all his guilt, Cameron always had a healthy degree of self-confidence. When Jonathan betrayed him, and since Jonathan was the person he relied on the most, he must have started doubting everything…. Doubting his worth. Now he blamed himself for everything that had happened since their childhood, for everything that had happened with Jonathan. He had sunk so low into believing he wasn't worthy of Jonathan's trust.  
Jonathan punched the ground again. His heart broke, what had he done to his brother? He never expected one decision to have such consequences. "Heh. I actually considered leaving", he thought bitterly. Who cared about what wonders the world held, when his brother, the most important person in the world, was feeling like that? He punched the ground repeatedly, until he made several shallow holes in the soil.  
Then he stopped. He had to fix this. He couldn't let his brother doubt himself like that.  
…………………………………………….  
He went back to Cameron's room, found him asleep. He took his previous position on the chair, and fell asleep.  
The next morning, he woke up upon hearing some voices. He opened his eyes to find Dina, Gunter, Jordan and Kay huddled around Cameron's bed. He got up to join them. Cameron was awake. He was chatting with their friends.  
\- "Good morning sunshine.", teased Gunter.  
Jonathan smiled: "When did you guys get here, I didn't hear you come in."  
\- "Only a few minutes ago." Jordan responded.  
Jonathan focused his attention on his brother: "Hey Cam, how are you feeling?"  
Cameron didn't smile: "I'm fine Jonathan. Thanks for staying with me but you didn't have to. I'm fine really."  
Again with the full name and no emotional reveal. Apparently Cameron didn't remember their late night conversation at all.  
Everyone stayed for a couple more hours. They chatted and helped Cameron eat. Before they left, Dina offered to stay so that Jonathan could go home, but he refused.  
Cameron slept for most of the time. They were alone except for occasional visits from nurses and doctors. Jonathan was glad to hear that Cameron was doing better and he was in less danger.  
Cameron woke up in the early afternoon. Jonathan tried to help him eat.  
\- "Seriously Jonathan, I don't need you to stay here, I'm fine on my own."  
\- "I know you don't need me, I want to be here. Now eat". Jonathan shot back.  
Cameron glanced at his face: "Speaking of eating, have you eaten anything? You look pale."  
Now that he thought about it, he hadn't eaten anything since the day before, he decided to brush it off with a tease: "Kettle meet pot"  
Cameron gave him a weak smile: "Here, have my jelly. You know I hate orange."  
Jonathan did know that was the truth, so he didn't refuse. He waited till Cameron finished his meal to ask: "Are you ok Cam?"  
\- "I'm alright. You can go home now."  
\- "I'm not going anywhere, I'm asking if we can talk."  
\- "What's on your mind Jonathan?"  
Jonathan snapped: "Stop calling me by my full name. You had no problem calling me Johnny last night."  
Cameron gave him a questioning look: "Last night?"  
\- "Yeah. We had a quite illuminating chat last night."  
Cameron's expression turned into awe: "You mean to tell me that last night was real? I didn't dream the whole thing?"  
Jonathan nodded.  
\- "Wow…. I really talked a lot…". Suddenly Cameron threw his hands in the air out of anger: "I was drugged. You took advantage of that!"  
Jonathan smiled: "Sorry man. That was the only time I could get some straight answers out of you."  
Cameron frowned.  
Jonathan continued: "Since I finally know how you feel, you should know what I think."  
Cameron didn't protest.  
\- "Cameron I don't blame you for anything. You did your best when we were children and when I was in prison. I may have been bitter at times but that doesn't meant that I thought everything was your fault."  
Jonathan stopped to look at Cameron and found him listening attentively.  
\- "And the reason I knocked you out wasn't because I didn't trust you or I thought you deserved to be in prison. It was because I was trying to protect you, I didn't want to incriminate you …… Plus, I don't feel I'm trapped because of you. You should stop pushing me away, I'm here for you."  
\- "But you shouldn't be". Cameron whispered.  
\- "Excuse me?"  
Cameron said louder: "You shouldn't be stopped from having your own life just because you're my twin."  
Jonathan tried to control his temper: "You see? Right there. That's the problem."  
Cameron gave him a curious look.  
\- "You said it yourself Cam. Just because we're twins we don't have to do everything together. But that doesn't mean that we should abandon each other completely. Dad totally messed us up, but we can get back up again. I can still have my own life and be there for my brother when he needs me."  
Cameron was silent for a while. He was looking down.  
\- "Well?"  
Cameron raised his head: "Well what?"  
\- "Say something."  
After a short pause Cameron said: "I'm sorry Johnny."  
Jonathan shook his head: "No more apologizing."  
They were silent for several long minutes, it was hard to get back to talking after that heavy conversation. Jonathan decided to change the mood: "So what are your plans for the future? Still gonna perform?"  
Cameron frowned: "I'm actually not sure about that."  
\- "So you're gonna keep working for the FBI?"  
Cameron's frown disappeared: "Yeah, if they let me. It's quite entertaining." He continued: "And what are plans for the future Johnny?"  
\- "I have absolutely no idea, which is the best feeling in the world."  
They smiled at each other. Maybe in time, and with a lot of practice, they could eventually have a normal relationship. They just had to trust one another.  
The end.


End file.
